It has been an epic season of Basketball Wives full of ups and downs, backstabbing, fallouts amongst friends, and assault and battery along with some tears. More than enough drama for me. I can definitely say with pure pleasure I am happy to see this season come to an end.
During the first two seasons of the show, I was dealing with the dissolution of my marriage and having it played out for all our viewers to see. It was difficult and hurtful to keep reliving those moments every time the show aired. This season I was dealing with yet another failed relationship with a former friend. I never really had to deal with too much female drama in my life. My friends that are close to me have been in my life for years and I have recently met amazing friends that really hold me down. So, with two failed relationships in the past two years I decided to take a look at myself, the common denominator.
Through the process of self-examination, although I strive for perfection (probably the Virgo in me), I realized I am far from it. I have flaws, I make mistakes, and all I can do is learn from them and because of this platform ideally others can to. Divorce was something I never wanted, but I came to grips that I couldn’t change my husband. My husband could only change himself. My parents are divorced and I now see how their failed marriage and my father’s infidelity have affected my entire family. My parents were married for over 30 years and have zero communication, it pains me to see them so distant and I resent my father for this. These are all struggles I deal with still to this day and profoundly affect my views on my relationships.
As far as my friends go, I will do anything within my means for my friends. When I think about honor and respect, those words run parallel with friends to me. Sometimes we don’t always want to hear our friend’s honest opinion, but I am always going to give my honest opinion. Everybody can’t handle it, however I also know that I have been guilty of only wanting to hear what I think is right as well. At times when I am dealing with difficult situations, stressed or depressed- I tend to shut down. My friends can’t reach me and I go into a shell. Overall, I am ride or die for my friends. With that being said, I in turn ask for respect and expect others to treat people the way they want to be treated. I sincerely apologize to any and all my friends if I did anything to hurt you intentionally or unintentionally.
In relation to the Basketball Wives cast, I feel some of the ladies who claimed to be my friend and claimed to be neutral made snide and slick remarks along with snickering about me. This proved to me that they indeed were not at all neutral. This season for me seemed no matter what I did it wasn’t going to be right, so I stopped trying. Tahiti was the last straw for me, we were half way around the world and I didn’t go there to argue or fight. I just wanted peace, but soon realized that wasn’t going to happen unless I was secluded from those that were determined to argue and fight. Arguing with former friends, slinging dirt back and forth was something I could have done in Miami not there. And what ever happened to the “G Code”? Whether the validity of things being said about me was true or false, as a friend there are certain things I would NEVER do. If you tell me something in confidence friend or foe, whether I don’t speak to you 20 years from now I will respect that and you will never have to worry about me repeating a word. The funny thing about arguing is choosing your words wisely because you can never take them back especially with millions of viewers watching. Although I have been through a number of emotions regarding my friendship with Evelyn dissolving, I have not and will not participate in the mud slinging. Over 10 years we have shared good times, bad times, marriages, engagements, break ups, moving, vacations, holidays together, wins, loses and much more. As we all have witnessed before, unfortunately our relationship has not survived the pressures and effects of a reality show and all that comes with it. As difficult and hurtful as it may be, I will continue to be resolute with my decision to respect what our friendship was and not where is has gone.
Even though this has been a trying season, I hope at some point my cast mates can get along and be civil with one another. I will always appreciate Basketball Wives Season 4 and this time in my life for the abundant lessons learned and personal growth I was forced to face. We all have our own individual imperfections, but I also believe we all have a good heart. As women of color it is important we uplift and support one another. I wish all my cast mates continued success and best wishes with their future endeavors.
Thank you to all my family and friends and loyal supporters for all the love during this trying season. Please continue to support me and my current (www.lucidcosmetics.com) and future business ventures.
Many hugs and kisses,